


Roomies

by julia_wicker_the_goddess



Series: Disability Awareness [2]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Amputee, Chronic Illness, Disability, F/F, F/M, ulcerative colitis
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-19
Updated: 2020-05-11
Packaged: 2020-05-14 22:31:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,368
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19282507
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/julia_wicker_the_goddess/pseuds/julia_wicker_the_goddess
Summary: Octavia Blake is hoping to start fresh at college. She knows nothing about her roommate except that her name is Raven Reyes.





	1. Chapter 1

Octavia knows nothing about her college roommate. All she knows is that she was in the first move-in time slot and Raven is in the last. There’s a few more hours before she’ll move in.

“O, where do you want your desk?” Bellamy asks.

“I think on this side of the bed.”

He nods and moves it, grunting. “These things are made to last, that’s for sure.”

“Well, if you’d just let me help you, maybe it wouldn’t be so hard.”

“O, your lungs don’t need that.” 

She had helped carry two loads of things, then had promptly had a coughing fit leftover from the pneumonia she contracted at the beginning of August, which triggered an asthma attack. She had been forced to sit on the plastic mattress on her new dorm bed, nebulizer mask over her face, as Bellamy hauled in all the rest of her things. She feels bad. Now, she’s organizing her closet as he moves furniture the way she wants it.

“O, you getting hungry?” he asks as he sits down on the rug under her lofted bed.

“Yeah, I guess.”

“Should we check out your dining hall?”

She nods.

“You okay to walk?”

“I don’t really have another option. Besides, it’s not far.”

He nods, and they’re off. The food isn’t bad, but isn’t great either. Bellamy loads up on pizza while Octavia goes for the pasta bar. When they finally sit down, it’s starting to sink in that Octavia will be alone soon. She’s strangely exhilarated looking around and seeing all the new people. She isn’t used to this much freedom and being around so many people her own age.

 

They finish their meal, and head back to the room. It looks like her new roommate has started moving in; there’s stuff on the other side of the room. The door opens, and a brunette walks in, carrying a box.

“Oh, hi. Um, Raven Reyes.” She puts the box down on her bed and reaches to shake Octavia’s hand, then Bellamy’s.

“I’m Octavia. Nice to meet you.”

“You too.”

“Do you want some help moving?” Bellamy asks. “We could give you a hand.”

“That’s alright. My cousin is helping.”

As if on cue, a girl with dreads comes in, carrying a suitcase.

“Geez, Reyes. Did you leave anything at home?”

“Nope. This is my new roomie, Octavia.”

“Hey, I’m Echo.”

Bellamy sits on Octavia’s bed for a little while, watching her unpack.

“O, I’m going to need to take off soon. You wanna walk to the car with me?”

She nods, and they start walking.

“I’ll skype you this weekend to see how welcome week was. You nervous?”

“Yeah. I mean, I’m really excited; I want to meet everyone and try out all the campus organizations and do all the normal college stuff but what if my body doesn’t hold up? I don’t want to have to drop out or get a bunch of incompletes because I’m in the hospital again.”

“You’ve got this. I believe in you  _ and _ your shitty health.”

A few tears slip down her cheeks despite her best efforts.

“Hey, you’re going to do great.”

She nods and he hugs her, kissing the top of her head. 

“We’ll talk this weekend, okay?”

“Okay.”

Finally, he gets in his car, and she moves toward her residence hall again, trying to compose herself.

 

When she gets inside, Raven is sitting on her bed, folding clothes.

“So, do you know what you’re majoring in?” Octavia asks.

“Aerospace engineering.”

“Wow. So you wanna be an astronaut?”

“Mhm. What about you?”

“Exercise Science.”

“Okay, nice. Where’d you grow up?”

“Buffalo area.”

“I did too. What high school did you go to?”

“Um, I was actually homeschooled.”

“Oh, okay.”

“I’m not ultra-conservative or anything.”

“No yeah, I know a few people who were homeschooled.”

Octavia is worried Raven thinks she’s some sort of unsocialized freak, but she doesn’t want to get into a conversation about her chronic illness and that the reason she’s homeschooled is that she spent so much time in the hospital, she couldn’t keep up in school.

 

“So uh, listen,” Raven says after a few minutes of silence, “you should probably find this out sooner rather than later. I’m an amputee. My leg was amputated above the knee when I was 14.” She’s wearing pants, and Octavia hadn’t noticed anything.

“Oh. Okay.”

“It sometimes makes stairs a little hard, and I don’t always wear my prosthetic. I use crutches when I don’t have it on.” 

“Thanks for telling me. Um… full disclosure, you should probably know that I have a chronic illness. I have ulcerative colitis, and I have to take a kind of medication for it that lowers my immune system, so I’m a lot more likely to get sick and stay sick. I also have pretty bad asthma, and perfume really sets it off.”

“Of course they stick two disabled people with each other.”

Octavia smirks.

“So what I’m hearing is use lots of hand sanitizer and don’t wear perfume?”

“Yeah. And uh, don’t be alarmed if I’m in the bathroom for a while. And I’m hearing keep the floors clear?”

“Yeah, that’d be awesome.”

“Sounds good.”

That night, the girls go with the rest of the people on their floor to dinner. 

Octavia gets pasta. Because of her UC, she has problems digesting a lot of foods. She’s trying her best not to set off a flare-up, so she sticks with what she knows will go down okay.

 

When they get back, Raven grabs some clothes and goes into the bathroom for a shower. Octavia, meanwhile, takes her daily meds and puts her pajamas on. Then, she turns on her phone and checks it for messages from Bellamy. There aren’t any. Her insides twinge a little bit, but she decides not to text him. She’s a big girl and she can handle herself. Opening her laptop, she pulls up Netflix, hearing the water stop in the bathroom. She’s ten minutes into an episode of The Flash when the door opens, and Raven crutches into the room. She’s got blue plaid pajama shorts on that reveal her residual limb, which stops at her mid-thigh. Octavia doesn’t want to stare but also doesn’t want to avoid looking at Raven, so she takes a brief look at Raven’s residual limb, then back up at her face.

“There it is in all its glory,” Raven says, gesturing and smirking. Octavia smiles. “So, you taking any major-specific classes this semester?”

“No. Mostly pre-req’s. I am taking bio and anatomy & physiology, which are more toward what I want to be doing. What about you?”

“Lots of science. I’ve got physics, chemistry, Mechanics of Engineering and Introduction to Flight.”

“Wow. I’d be drowning.”

“I like math and science. They make sense. Though, I’d rather be working hands-on than sitting in class.”

“I totally get that.”

________________________________________________________________________

 

The next day starts “welcome week,” which Octavia loves. She gets to meet so many new people and interact with a bunch of cute guys in her orientation group. Raven likes it too, but it’s a hot day, and she wears shorts, meaning that many people look at her prosthetic more than her face.

 

That night is fun for them both. There’s an event under a big tent with free popcorn, henna tattoos, and live music. Many of the students are playing frisbee in the big grassy area next to the tent, and some are inside the university center watching dueling piano performers. Raven and Octavia go together and line up for henna first since it seems like that will take the longest. They chat with the girls in front of them, Monroe and Harper. Monroe is going into mechanical engineering, and Harper is going for architecture. 

“So are you two roommates?” Octavia asks.

“No, actually we’re girlfriends,” Harper says. “I live with Clarke Griffin in 108.”

“Oh, Raven and I live in 107.”

“I’m with Lexa in 113,” Monroe says.

Octavia ends up getting a henna butterfly, while Raven somehow convinces the artist to give her the golden ratio on her wrist even though it’s not in the book of designs. She’s giddy after that, and Octavia finds it kind of adorable.

 

Some of the sessions they have to go to for welcome week are boring as all get out, and Octavia, Raven, Monroe, and Harper end up sitting and whispering together and grabbing lunch together the next day. 

The weekend goes quicker than Octavia had expected. Saturday, the four of them go out for ice cream at the local stand and to a movie at the campus theater, and Sunday they buy their books and get ready for their first week of college classes. She doesn’t even get the chance to skype Bellamy as she had planned, but she shoots him a quick text.

**O: sooo…. Maybe college isn’t so bad.**


	2. Chapter 2

It turns out, Harper and Octavia are both in Freshman English together, and Raven and Monroe have two engineering classes together. The four meet for lunch on Monday and talk about their first day of college.

“I don’t know, I’m kind of used to the structure since I did some college classes in high school,” Monroe says, biting into her slice of pizza and instantly ripping it back out and swearing. “Ugh. I always burn my mouth on pizza.”

“Same,” Raven says. “Not about the college classes. I’m not a genius like Monroe here. But both of our professors just went over the syllabi today, so it wasn’t too bad.”

“I’m  _ not  _ a genius. Everybody in our school did that. Harper, back me up on this.”

“I mean, technically that’s true, but not everyone graduated a year early, so you’re at least a little bit of a genius.”

“ _ Anyway,  _ Octavia how was your first class?”

“Pretty good. But I’m not used to getting all of my work for the semester at the same time. It’s kind of overwhelming.”

“I’m with ya,” Harper says. “All those English readings.”

They finish lunch and Octavia goes to her anatomy and physiology class. If she thought English was going to be overwhelming, this is going to be impossible. Her professor assigns 50 pages of reading to do by Wednesday and Octavia goes back to her dorm, mentally exhausted. Raven isn’t there, and Octavia decides to see if anyone’s door is open in her hall. Harper and Lexa’s door is open, and she knocks on the open door.

“Hey, Harper.”

“Hey, this is my roommate, Lexa.”

“Nice to meet you.” She moves over on the futon saying, “Feel free to sit down. What’s your major?”

“Exercise Science. Yours?”

“Political Science.”

“Cool. Are you going to try for student government?”

“Definitely.”

They chat for a while and Harper mentions that there’s a trivia contest tonight at the university center.

“We’ve gotta go,” Lexa says excitedly.

“You’re a trivia buff, huh?”

She nods, a bit sheepishly.

“No, that’s cool,” Harper says. “Actually, Monroe and her roommate were probably going to go. We could make a team. Octavia, you and Raven in?”

“I’ll ask her, but I’m in for sure.”

______________________________________________________________________

 

Octavia shows up that night in a crop top, high waisted shorts, and combat boots. Raven couldn’t come, as she already had homework due for the next day. She finds Harper and Lexa sitting at a table.

“Hey!” Harper says loudly over the music playing. “Have you seen Monroe and Clarke?”

“I don’t know what Clarke looks like, but I haven’t seen Monroe.”

“I hope they get here soon. Trivia starts in 2 minutes.”

Octavia sits down and then notices Lexa staring unabashedly at a blonde approaching their table. O nudges Harper and whispers, “who’s that?”

“That’s Clarke.” She says, grinning.

The blonde sits down. “Monroe’s on her way. She had to go to training for a job, so she said she might be a few minutes late. I’m Clarke by the way,” she says.

“Lexa.” The other girl breathes.

Octavia introduces herself. She has to suppress a giggle at the way the two of them stare at each other. The music cuts out and an MC hops onto the stage, announcing that trivia is officially starting for the night.

 

They don’t win trivia, but it’s a weekly thing and they vow to continue going until they win. Octavia also bets Harper that Clarke and Lexa will be sleeping together by homecoming.

 

__________________________________________________________________________

 

The next morning, Octavia has to wake up early for her 7:45 am college algebra class. She tries to be as quiet as possible, getting up and dressed and making herself coffee. She doesn’t bother putting makeup on, wanting to set the precedent for this class that she  _ will  _ look like shit most of the time. Arriving to class, she plops down in a seat next to someone.

“This class is too damn early.” He says.

She looks up.  _ Oh.  _ He’s cute.

“No shit.”

“I’m Atom.”

“Octavia.”

The class starts with roll call, and that’s when she learns that his name is  _ Atom _ , not Adam because the teacher comments on the spelling. It’s quirky, but then again you don’t hear Octavia that often either, she figures. The class ends and as she starts packing up, Atom says “Geez, I don’t remember any of my high school math.”

“Same.” She says. She hadn’t taken any math her senior year and had taken algebra 2 in 9th grade, so she only remembers things vaguely.

“Um, I was thinking about maybe forming a study group for this class if you’re interested.”

“Sure, sounds good.”

 

They meet at the library on Wednesday, and no one else shows up.

“I thought this was going to be a study  _ group _ ?”

“I invited a few other people. Guess they weren’t interested.”

“Oh well.”

They start going through the homework, and Octavia wonders if he really did invite other people, or if he just wanted to have an excuse to hang out with her.

 

________________________________________________________________________

 

The next week, the first floor ladies go back to trivia, Raven joining them. Clarke and Lexa continue to exchange bedroom eyes while the rest of the group pretend not to notice. 

On Tuesday, she sees Atom again and he asks if she wants to exchange numbers “in case anything comes up for study group.” She doesn’t believe that’s the real reason for a second, but she agrees and sees him again on Wednesday evening at the library. 

“Hey Atom.”

“Hey, I brought snacks.” That he did. He brought a variety of candy, Chex mix, and chips.

“Wow. Impressive.”

“Well, the homework for this week seems kind of tough, so I figured we’d need snacks to get us through.”

“Okay,” she says, grinning. She grabs a handful of m&ms and cracks open her book.

 

When she gets home that night, she tells Raven about Atom.

“Raven, you had significant others in high school, right?”

“Why do you assume that?”

“I don’t know. You’re… charismatic.”

“Well, thanks. And yeah, I had a couple of significant others,” she says, smirking.

“How did you tell… if they liked you?”

“Um, it depended on the person. Like, with Luna, she flirted a lot and got in my space and made comments that made it clear she was into women. With Finn, well, he was sweet. He did lots of gestures, like making me a necklace and bringing me coffee. Wick was super direct. He just told me upfront that he liked me and wanted to date me.”

“Maybe Atom is just a friend…”

“I mean, from what it sounds like, I think there’s at least some flirting going on.”

“This is so confusing.”

“Yeah, that’s relationships for you.”

 

Octavia and Atom continue to get closer. He invites her over to his dorm to study one night.

“Hey, want something to drink? I’ve got Coke or Red Bull.”

“Coke sounds great.”

He grabs one from the fridge and hands it to her, then opens his book. 

“You know, I feel like, for a beginner college math course, this professor is a hardass.”

“I totally agree. And his grading system is awful.”

They study for an hour, preparing for the possibility of a pop quiz, which the professor gives every week or two.

“So homecoming is coming up,” Atom says casually, taking a sip of his Red Bull.

“Yeah. I’ve never actually been to a homecoming.”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah. I was always busy in high school.” She hasn’t told him about her chronic illness or homeschooling and doesn’t plan on it, at least for a while. When he had asked about what high school she went to, she had just named the one her friends had gone to.

“You’re going to come to this one, right?”

“Maybe. I mean, my friends are going, but most of them are going as couples, and I  _ so  _ do not want to third wheel.”

“Well, uh, you could come with me if you want.”

“Sure, I’d love to.” She says before she can even think.

“Cool.”

 

Octavia gets home and can’t stop smiling.

“What’s up, O?”

“Atom asked me to homecoming.”

“Nice!”

“Yeah. My first college date.

“That’s cool, O.” 

“Are you going with anyone?”

“Yeah, I’m going with Gina. She’s in my chem class.”

“Gina, huh?” Octavia says, grinning.

“She’s just a friend… for now.”

“Oooh, you think she’s really pretty, don’t you?”

“Shut up.”

“You do!”

 

__________________________________________________________________________

 

Octavia is gearing up for her first A&P test, and she’s worried. It’s a hard class, and she knows she needs to keep her grades up if she wants to get into physical therapy school. Last week she started to get some pain in her abdomen. It has been gradually growing worse, but she’s ignoring it. She can’t have a flare. Not now. Octavia studies till 1AM, then tries to get some sleep, tossing and turning from stress and cramping.

 

The test goes okay. Her stomach cramps terribly during it, but she pushes through. On the way back to her dorm, she’s bent over in pain. When she gets back to the room, she hurls herself into bed and curls in on herself, letting herself hyperventilate from the pain. After she has her moment, she pulls her heating pad up to lay it across her abdomen and cranks it to high. 

“Aw, got your period on homecoming week? That sucks.” Raven says, crutching out of the bathroom and sitting down on her bed. She rolls a synthetic liner which she likes to call her “leg condom” onto her residual limb and puts a small band of material called a sock on as well. Next, she slides her leg into the prosthetic and stands up, pushing the extra air out with her body weight and creating a vacuum. Octavia is used to seeing this now. She’s more focused on trying to get deep breaths without moving her stomach.

“No, it’s uh, actually part of my ulcerative colitis.”

“Oh. Would you mind telling me more about that? I don’t really know much.”

“Sure. Um, basically my large intestine is inflamed and has little ulcers in it, which causes some pretty uncomfortable symptoms.”

“Such as?”

“Basically, it gives me the shits. Any time, with little warning. It’s like food poisoning, but all the time. I get really bad cramping and I can have some pretty significant internal bleeding.”

“Wow. That sounds terrible. So does the medicine you take help?”

“Sometimes. I’m on one right now, which was working till recently. When I’m feeling good, it’s called remission. Then I get flares, where there’s pain and blood loss and all that fun stuff.”

Raven nods, looking horrified.

“Sorry, was that TMI?”

“No. I just feel bad. That sounds really shitty.”

“Yeah it is. Literally. But I mean, I’m used to it.”

Raven nods. “Well, I’m gonna head to the dining hall for some lunch. Want me to bring you something?”

“No, I’m good.”

“Alright. Text me if you need anything.” Raven says, grabbing her wallet and keys and heading out the door.

 


	3. Chapter 3

Homecoming day has arrived and she’s excited. Atom somehow found them seats near the side of the bleachers without O even having to tell him to, so she can make a quick escape to the bathroom if she needs to. She honestly doesn’t care who wins. It’s just fun to hang out with Atom and his friends, eating fan food and smack talking the opponents.

 

The after party gets a little crazy. They drive to one of Atom’s friends’ house, and it’s everything she would expect at a frat party. She takes two shots of something strong and dances for a while, but then she can’t find Atom. She’s getting nauseated and just wants to go back to her dorm, but he drove them. Excusing her way through the crowd, she searches for her date but he’s nowhere to be found. 

“Hey, you’re Octavia right?” a guy asks. She recognizes him from the group that was sitting next to them at the game.

“Yeah. Have you seen Atom anywhere?”

“Uh, I saw him head upstairs a few minutes ago.”

“Thanks.”

She walks upstairs and sees a bathroom and a closed door that she assumes leads to a bedroom. Maybe he wanted to sleep some of the alcohol off before he drove them home.  She knocks and doesn’t hear anything, so she opens it. And there’s Atom, kissing another girl, with his hand up her shirt. Octavia doesn’t move for a second. Atom breaks the kiss and looks at her with an expression that makes her furious.

“Octavia--”

She runs. Down the stairs, through the crowd, and outside. She’s not quite sure where they are, so she walks down the block to check the road signs, then gets an Uber. Hugging her knees, she does her best to suppress her tears on the ride. She doesn’t cry in front of people. She finally makes it home and runs to her dorm, pulling off her jeans and slipping under her blankets. Unable to hold it in any longer, she bursts into tears. She hears the door open, and tries to subdue herself, but she can’t.

“O, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing. Just… boys are stupid.”

“Why?”

She pulls the covers off her head and Raven looks concerned.

“Atom’s just… a jerk.” She’s still sobbing.

“What did he do? Did he hurt you?  I swear to god, if he hurt you I’ll kill him. Do you want me to kill him? Because I’ll kill him. Or we could get him expelled. I mean, Lexa’s got sway with student government. ”

“No. It’s-- I saw him making out with another girl.”

“That asshole. He asked  _ you _ to Homecoming.”

“I know.”

“Well, what do you want to do?”

“I don’t know. I don’t think anything. I-I’m drunk. And sad.” Her tears finally dry up and she takes a deep breath, wiping her eyes.

“Well, sounds like we need to cheer you up. You know what’s fun to do when you’re drunk?”

“What?”

“Play Cards Against Humanity.”

“Just the two of us?”

“No, Monroe and Harper are back in the dorm.”

“Okay, sounds good.” Octavia gets a makeup wipe and cleans herself up a bit before donning some sweatpants. Raven gets their friends and they sit down on the floor and start the game. 

“So how was your night?” Octavia asks as Raven deals.

“Pretty good till I couldn’t get back into my room.” Monroe says.

“Did you get locked out?”

“No, there was a sock on the door.”

“Wait, Clarke and Lexa?”

She nods.

“I totally called it!”

Harper nods. “You did.”

“You owe me a pizza.”

“I know. How about tomorrow?”

Octavia nods.

“I’m thinking I’m gonna end up spending the night in Harper’s room.”

“Which you haven’t done it way too long.” The other girl says, resting her head on Monroe’s shoulder.

“Babe, let’s maybe not discuss our sex life in front of our friends.”

“Right, sorry.”

The game is filthy and wonderful and gets Octavia’s mind off of Atom. Midway through, they hear a scream. Octavia looks up, concerned. They hear another and it sounds an awful lot like someone they know.

“Is that…” Raven asks with a smirk.

“Oh my god, that’s Clarke.” Monroe says. “I sooo do not need to know that my roommate is a screamer.”

“I forgot to ask, how’d it go with Gina tonight?” Harper asks Raven.

“Oh, fine. Honestly, I think we’re just friends.”

“Aw, that’s too bad.”

“It’s fine. It’s nice to have friends too.”

 

_________________________________________________________________________

 

Octavia arrives at Algebra class and sits on the opposite side of the classroom from Atom. When he tries to approach her after class, she ignores him. Then, he chases after her.

“Octavia, please.”

“ _ What _ Atom? What could you possibly say that would make me okay with Friday night?”

“I honestly thought we were just going as friends.”

“Even if I did believe that ridiculous lie, you left me alone in a party full of people I didn’t know. Friends don’t do that.”

“Oct--”

“We’re done, asshole.” She says, walking away.

________________________________________________________________________

  
  


Octavia tries her best to avoid the cold that everyone on campus is getting. Raven washes her hands religiously when she gets back from anywhere. But soon Monroe gets the cold, then Harper, then Lexa and Clarke. Octavia takes loads of vitamin C but as October draws to a close, she wakes up feeling like she’s been hit by a truck. Her throat is sore and she can’t breathe out of her nose. Her whole body is damp with sweat and she shivers as she pulls off her covers and makes her way to the bathroom to take a shower.

 

She gets out slightly less congested, but still freezing. Slipping into sweats, she crawls back under her covers with a thermometer. She’s almost asleep when the thermometer beeps, but pries her eyes open to check it. She’s got a fever. Pulling her phone out from under her pillow, she sends a few emails to professors before sinking back into an exhausted sleep.

 

She wakes up a couple of hours later to Raven’s voice.

“O, aren’t you supposed to be at class?”

“I’m sick. Got a fever of 103.” She says, voice cracking.

“Shit. Sorry, dude. We tried our best.”

Octavia nods. “I feel like I got run over.”

“Do you need to go to urgent care?”

“No. I’ll wait and see how my body takes it. They won’t give me antibiotics for a couple of weeks anyway. The only reason I’d need to go in is if my asthma gets really bad.”

Raven nods.

“I’m gonna head to class. Let me know if you need anything.”

Octavia nods and Raven leaves. 

 

She wakes up again when she hears the microwave beeping. Raven pulls a bowl out of it.

“I got you some soup. Chicken noodle.”

“Thanks.” Octavia says groggily. “Why’d you do that?”

“I was at the store. I saw it, and thought you’d like it. That’s all.”

“That’s really nice.” She says as the latina brings over the bowl and a few packages of crackers.

“Don’t mention it.”

  
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Two weeks later, Octavia’s cold has turned into a horrible cough which she would bet her ass is pneumonia. She’s wheezing with every breath and taking her rescue inhaler as often as she can with nebulizers twice a day. She feels bad for disrupting her classes with coughing, but there’s no way she can miss that much school. Raven is concerned about her roommate. One afternoon after a particularly nasty coughing bout, she brings it up.

“O, I think it’s time to go in and see a doctor.”

“Yeah, probably.” Her voice is a mixture of raspy squeaks and sudden pitch drops. 

“I can drive you if you want.”

“You sure?”

She nods. “Wanna go this afternoon?”

“Okay.”

They have to wait for a while once at the clinic and Octavia is exhausted. She’s struggling to keep her eyes open and they’re told it’ll be another 45 minutes till she can be seen.

“O, why don’t you take a lil nap?” Raven says. “I’ll wake you up when your name is called.”

She nods and leans her head back against the wall, quickly falling asleep. As she slumbers, her head drifts down to rest on Raven’s shoulder. She doesn't seem to mind.


	4. Chapter 4

After an x-ray, it’s confirmed that she has pneumonia. The doctor puts her on a steroid and antibiotics and sends her off. She decides to call Bellamy on the way home so he knows the bill will be coming to their house.

“Hey, O.” He answers. She hasn’t called him in a month, and she can tell he’s excited to hear from her.

“Hey.” She says, trying to make her voice sound normal. She fails.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. I’m just a little under the weather.”

“Have you been to the doctor? Is your UC acting up? How much blood are you losing?”

“Calm down. I’ve been to the doctor. My UC is fine and I’m not losing a lot of blood. I have pneumonia. The bill for the x-ray is coming your way. That’s why I’m calling.”

“Did they put you on antibiotics?”

“Yup, and a steroid.”

“How are your sats?”

“Not great, but not dangerous.”

“When did this start?”

“A couple of weeks ago. Are you going to stop interrogating me soon so I can tell you about college life?”

“Yeah. Sorry, I just worry.”

“I know you do.”

“So how is college life?”

“Pretty okay. I’ve been hanging out with Raven and those other girls on my floor I told you about.”

“Good. How’s that math class?”

“Um, fine.” She hasn’t told him about Atom, and frankly, she probably won’t. She suddenly erupts into a coughing fit that leaves her breathless.

“Hey, I’m gonna let you rest. Call me if you need anything or want to talk.”

“Okay. Love you, big brother.”

“Love you too, O. Bye.”

 

Octavia hangs up as she goes into another coughing fit. When it finally stops, she shuts her eyes and tries to catch her breath.

“Hey, are you okay?” Raven asks, glancing over and looking like she’s ready to turn the car around to go back to urgent care.

“Yep, I’m fine.”

“You still up for the game night tonight?”

“I don’t know. I’m not much fun.”

“We’ll keep you anyway if you want to come.”

“Okay.”

 

Octavia hops in the shower when she gets back to their room, letting the steam calm her lungs. When she emerges from the bathroom, pajama-clad and cozy, Clarke, Lexa, Monroe, and Harper are sitting on the floor choosing between several games, sipping on beers. Raven, meanwhile, is fiddling with her leg.

“I vote Faces if I get a say.” Octavia says.

“Ooh, I forgot we had that, I’m down for it,” Monroe chimes in. They play the game, which is similar to Cards Against Humanity, but uses vintage photographs of people with weird facial expressions. Somehow, Raven seems to know exactly what Octavia’s sense of humor is and every time it’s Octavia’s turn, Raven wins. She actually ends up winning the whole game and ends up singing  _ We Are the Champions  _ drunkenly, holding up Octavia’s hand, and saying she couldn’t have done it without her. Octavia laughs and laughs until she starts coughing. And then she coughs, hard and long, until she gags herself. The fun is over for the night, and they all go back to their rooms as Octavia starts up a nebulizer treatment.

 

___________________________________________________________________________

 

Octavia’s pneumonia symptoms slowly improve. But her abdomen continues to hurt, and she’s starting to lose more blood because of her ulcerative colitis. She knows it’s only a matter of time before she’ll end up needing some sort of medical intervention, but she hopes it can wait for winter break. 

 

_________________________________________________________________________

 

One afternoon, Octavia’s sitting at her desk trying to study when Raven comes back from class. She’s grimacing as she walks in the door, and when she sits down on the bed and starts taking off her prosthetic, she makes a pained noise, despite her best efforts to conceal it.

“Hey, you okay?”

“Yeah. Um, just… my leg is bothering me”

“Yeah?”

“Um, it can swell throughout the day and really hurt to be stuffed into the prosthetic all day. We did a lot of walking and stairs in one of my classes today because we took a tour of some of the more advanced class labs. And uh--” Her sentence is cut off by pain, and she clutches her leg.

“Can I do anything?”

Raven shakes her head, looking embarrassed, and Octavia turns back to her homework. She doesn’t want Raven to feel bad. Octavia knows pain well, and chronic pain can really start to eat away at you. Raven sighs as she works at the tight muscles in her leg and hip.

 

__________________________________________________________________________

  
  


Octavia completely forgot that they’re going to a pumpkin patch on Saturday. Then she wakes to  _ This is Halloween  _ playing at an ear-splitting volume. Raven is swinging around on her bed pretending to play the cello with her prosthetic leg.

“What the fuck?” She murmurs.

THIS IS HALLOWEEN, THIS IS HALLOWEEN!” Raven yells. 

“Geez!”

“You ready for pumpkin picking?” She asks, absolutely giddy.

“Oh yeah. Sure.”

“Come on, put a little enthusiasm into it. This is my favorite time of year.”

“Wow, I couldn’t tell at all.”

Raven grins and slides off the bed, crutching to the bathroom. 

When the girl leaves, Octavia’s facial expression drops as she clutches her abdomen. Her pain is getting bad, but she knows how excited Raven is, so she decides to push through. 

 

They get to the pumpkin patch and roll out of Monroe’s beat up mini van. The second she gets out of the car, Octavia runs to the nearest bathroom. The others glance at each other.

“I’ll wait for her. Ya’ll go ahead.”

“You sure, Raven? We can all wait for her.” Monroe says.

“Yeah. She’s going to feel bad about holding people up. I actually need to put an extra sock on anyway.”

The others nod and disperse, Monroe and Harper to one end of the patch, Clarke and Lexa to another. Raven, meanwhile, releases the suction holding her residual limb in the socket and pulls the leg off.

Just then a mother and little girl come up to stand in line for the bathroom.

“Momma, that lady’s--”

“Shh, Ava.” The woman scolds.

“But her leg--”

“Ava, it’s rude to stare.” She hisses.

“It’s fine actually,” Raven says.

“I’m sorry.” The woman says, not making eye contact.

“Don’t be. You were going to say my leg fell off, right?” Raven asks the little girl.

She nods shyly.

“It actually got hurt and wouldn’t get better, and that made me really sick. So the doctors had to take it off. It happens sometimes.”

Ava nods, in awe.

“And it’s not rude to look at me as long as you look me in the eyes and maybe smile or say hi like you would with anyone else.” She says pointedly. Someone exits the family bathroom and the woman pulls Ava toward it.

“Bye.” The little girl says, waving.

“Bye.” Raven smiles to herself as they disappear into the bathroom. She grabs an extra sock from her bag just as Octavia emerges from the bathroom.

“How’re you doing?”

Octavia is pale and a little shaky. “Fine. You didn’t have to wait for me.”

“It’s okay. I had to put on an extra leg condom anyway,” she says, referring to the sock that she starts rolling up her residual limb. She slips her leg back into the socket and stands up, stepping into the prosthetic a few times to get it to suction.

“Ready?”

“Yeah.”

They walk slowly and Raven keeps glancing discreetly at Octavia, who’s moving slow because she’s dizzy and her abdomen hurts.

“You okay, dude?”

“Yup.” Octavia mumbles, a bit breathless.

“You’re kinda pale.”

“Shut up, I’m fine.”

“I mean, are you, though?”

Octavia glares in Raven’s direction. “Look, I’m not going to let this disease ruin my whole life.”

“I’m not saying you should. I’m just saying right now, maybe your body needs a little break?”

Octavia sighs.

“Come on, let’s sit on this bench and just rest for a little while.”

She reluctantly agrees and sits down.

“Look, I know it’s not exactly the same thing, but sometimes my leg slows me down too. People say it builds character or some shit, but I say it’s a pain in the ass.”

She nods at that.

“But sometimes you have to listen to your body. And you totally have a right to be upset about it, and we will all try not to be shitty about it. But sometimes, sucky health needs win over fun. And you’ve gotta view that time as self-care that your body needs.”

Octavia nods, curling her legs into her chest and wrapping her sweater-covered hands around them.

“You’re going to be okay, kid.” Raven says, pecking the top of Octavia’s head.

“I’m older than you. Fuck off.”

Raven smirks, knowing Octavia isn’t really mad. They sit in comfortable silence for several minutes.

“Well, what do you think? Is your body up for some pumpkin picking?”

“I think so.” She says, getting up.

They go to the nearest row and search among the vines for the best pumpkins. The two of them spot a warty, amazing looking pumpkin at the same time without realizing it. Each of their hands go out, and graze each other. They both look up.

“You’ve got good taste in pumpkins, I’ll give you that.” Raven says.

“That pumpkin’s mine, though.”

“Um, no way.”

“I’ll arm wrestle you for it.”

“Fine.”

They go back to the bench, and sit on either side of it. As they prepare, Monroe, Harper, Clarke, and Lexa gather around with their pumpkins.

“What’s going on?” Clarke asks.

“We’re arm wrestling for the best pumpkin.”

After a struggle, Octavia wins, despite her worsening anemia. Raven reluctantly gives her the pumpkin and finds her own. Octavia grins all the way home, holding her pumpkin like a trophy.

 

When they get back to the dorm, Octavia is exhausted, and falls asleep on top of her covers, still in her jeans, shoes, and jacket. Raven doesn’t want to wake her up, but she grabs an extra blanket from her bed and tucks it over the slumbering student.

  
  
  



	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Violence and homophobia.

Octavia feels a little better the next Friday when Jasper and Monty, guys from Raven and Monroe’s class who all the girls have gotten to know, throw a house party.. 

“Octavia, can you zip me up?” Raven asks, walking out of the bathroom. The woman looks stunning. She’s got on a body-hugging red dress and heels. Octavia can barely walk in high heels as it is; she can’t imagine how Raven walks in them with a prosthetic leg. For some reason she feels warm and flushed, even though she’s not sick. She ignores it and moves over to zip Raven’s dress.

“How do I look?” Raven asks, twirling.

“Good. Really good.”

“Well thanks.” Raven says with a smirk. “You’re looking pretty hot yourself. Looking for a rebound tonight?”

“Maybe.” 

“Need a condom to take with you?”

“Uh, no, I’m good. Thanks though.”

  
  


They get to the party, and everyone is in one room basically grinding to the music. Clarke and Lexa rush to the middle, while Monroe, Harper, Octavia, and Raven go to the drinks table. Octavia just gets water, fearing anything else will end her night early. They watch the action for a few minutes before Octavia spots someone she recognizes.

“Shit.”

“What?” Raven asks.

“Atom is here. Shit.”

“Do you want to leave?”

“No. I just don’t want him to think I’m still looking to hook up with him.”

“Well… I mean I can…”

“Thank you!” She pulls Raven over to where everyone is dancing and starts grinding up on her.

“Well well well, O. Never knew you were a dirty dancer,” Raven murmurs in her ear.

“I picked up a few things from the internet.”

“I guess you did.”

Atom starts walking over, but when he sees Octavia and Raven dancing together, he turns the other way.

“Thank god,” Octavia says. She’s about to leave the dance floor when a large guy comes up to her.

“Wanna dance?” He says, eyeing her like a piece of meat.

“Uh, no. I’m fine with my... girlfriend here.” She says quickly.

“Girlfriend? You two are dykes?”

“We’re two women in a relationship,” Raven spits. “Got a problem with that?”

“Fuckin homos,” he says, and walks away.

Raven looks flushed and a little disoriented all of a sudden.

“Hey, you okay?”

Raven pulls her through the crowd and to the drink table. She shakily downs two shots.

“Do you want to go? Are you okay?”

“Let me just--” She grabs a beer and then looks around uncertainly.

“Let’s go upstairs, it’ll be quieter,” Octavia shouts. By the time they slip into a bedroom and sit down on the bed, Raven’s whole body is trembling.

“Hey, what can I do?”

“Um, I don’t know. I haven’t felt this way in a long time.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“Um, I just… I--” Raven chugs half her drink and sighs. “Homophobia is a scary thing.”

Octavia nods. “Yeah.”

“When you’re already latina and disabled, being bi doesn’t exactly… help, I guess. There are so many assholes out there. A lot of things happened in my life that made me terrified to be me. Sure, this time wasn’t life-threatening. But sometimes homophobia is. I… I was a foster child. I don’t think I’ve told you that.”

Octavia shakes her head.

“Um, well, during my stay with one of the families, I had my first girlfriend. The family thought we were just friends until the dad caught us kissing.” She takes another swig of her beer.

“What happened?” Octavia asks, almost afraid to find out.

“He sent her home and I got beaten badly enough to send me to the ER and then to a new foster home.”

“Raven, I’m so sorry,” she says after a moment of silence.

“There have been a lot of times that I’ve experienced hate, but that was the scariest. I thought he was going to kill me. I ended up with a couple of broken ribs, lots of bruises and some bleeding into my abdomen. It made crutching impossible, so when I didn’t have my leg on, I had to get wheeled around. Showing up at a new school with a black eye, bruised arms, and missing leg wasn’t exactly a treat either. No one asked, everyone just gossiped. And every time someone stared at me, I was reminded all over again that it wasn’t safe to be me.”

Octavia doesn’t know what to say. Raven takes another sip of her beer.

“Aw, empty!”

“Should we go?” Octavia asks.

“No, not yet. Hey, why aren’t you drunk? I’m definitely drunk. We need to get you drunk!” She exclaims. She gets up and drags Octavia back down the stairs to the drinks table. 

  
  


A half hour later, Octavia is drunk, and Raven is drunker.

“So, you never talk about your parents,” Raven says loudly.

“My mom’s dead. Don’t know about my dad.”

“Hey, same!”

“How did your mom die?”

“Car crash. Same one that made me lose this,” she says, gesturing at her leg. “I only found out that she was driving high when my aunt caught me smoking weed 4 years later.”

“Damn.”

“How’d your mom go?”

“She ODed.”

“How old were you?”

“Thirteen.”

“I was fourteen. So did you get fostered out?”

“No, my brother had just turned 18. He dropped out of his senior year of high school and worked full time so we could stay together. You said you did foster care?”

“Yep. 7 foster homes and 2 group homes in 4 years.”

“Geez.”

“Yeah, only had to transfer schools twice, though.”

“That’s nice.”

 

The girls talk for a long time, laying on the bed together. They seem to understand each other better than most people. They end up falling asleep there, legs intertwined, Octavia’s head perfectly notched between Raven’s head and shoulder.

  
  
  



End file.
